Jenny Holzer Mom Twitter Parody Account Is Back From the Dead

WE MISSED YOU

@JennyHolzerMom, the only Twitter parody account worth following, has risen from the ashes and begun tweeting again, for the first time since October 2012.

The account mashes up the truisms of artist Jenny Holzer with parental advice, imagining what it would be like to have Holzer as your mom. It’s amazing. Here are some of our favorite tweets:

I ASSURE YOU LIFE HAS GREATER TRAGEDIES TO OFFER THAN THE MINOR INDIGNITIES OF YOUR TEEN YEARS
— Jenny Holzer, Mom (@JennyHolzerMom) October 5, 2012

IF EVER YOU ARE DRUNK OFF THE AWESOME POTENTIAL OF THE UNIVERSE, DON'T TRY TO DRIVE HOME, CALL ME
— Jenny Holzer, Mom (@JennyHolzerMom) March 17, 2014

DO NOT BE ALARMED IF SOMEONE WHO WAS ALIVE BEFORE THE NINETIES MIGHT ACTUALLY KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT SOMETHING
— Jenny Holzer, Mom (@JennyHolzerMom) March 17, 2014

YOU CAN PLAY WITH THE IDENTITY SOCIETY GAVE YOU AFTER YOU WRITE SOCIETY A THANK YOU NOTE
— Jenny Holzer, Mom (@JennyHolzerMom) October 4, 2012

THERE WILL BE NO ROOM IN MY DAUGHTER'S FULL HEART FOR SELF-DOUBT OR BOYS WITH IRONIC FACIAL HAIR
— Jenny Holzer, Mom (@JennyHolzerMom) October 4, 2012

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It Is in Your Self-Interest to Find a Way to Follow @JennyHolzerMom

WE MISSED YOU

WE MISSED YOU

YOU BROKE TIME.COM!